Impact makes ‘deep connection’

Posted on November 03, 2009 7

Part 1.

Why is creating connection with woman so important? And how can you achieve it?

I will be giving you a female perspective on this, and will show you the steps you need to understand in order for you to obtain a deep and significant connection with a woman.

I will also explain why you can benefit immensely if you manage to make a deep connection with her and how you can use this particular skill for years to come.

The 2 types of connection:

External/surface/superficial connection.

This is the type of connection that guys should make if they are in a rush, and literally don’t have time to make a deeper connection with the woman, (i.e. day game when she is rushing a long a busy street) this is usually fairly easy to do.

Examples of surface connections:

Enjoying the same type of films

Coming from the same town

Doing the same line of work

Sharing any general interests or hobbies

Sharing the same sense of humour

Liking the same type of music

In a world consisting of billions of people. We can find a certain sense of comfort by finding even the most flimsy form of connection with a random person. Whether it’s the fact that they come from the same area/town that we are from. Whether we share the same Zodiac sign (sad but true) or if they happen to be in the same line of work as us.

Making surface connections with a woman are also a good way to create a “reason”(other than seducing her) to meet up again.

Man: “Yeah, he’s one of my favourite actors too, we should catch that new movie he’s in..” etc etc

This information is all very obvious and is common knowledge, so there is no need for me to elaborate the point any further of why obtaining surface connections can be very useful.

However, if you DO have time, you should try your best to make t a deeper connection with the woman.

Making a deeper connection with a woman would create a number of changes in the her state of mind and would alter her opinion of you (positively of course), and as a result of these slight mind shifts forming on in her head, mood shifts will follow, and finally the energy and direction of the interaction between you both will improve dramatically.

. Making a deeper connection will get her to open up, and start explaining how she FEELS and REACTS about things. And this will give you a wonderful insight in to her mind (ever heard the expression that knowledge and information is power?)

. A deeper connection creates a “special” and “private” moment between you and her that no one else can touch or get in to.

. When a deeper connection is made, a moment is created, where she feels like you ‘know’ her (and she knows you) on a very personal level (psychologically) And

By doing this she temporarily places you in the same category as the people in her life that she has known for years. These are people who she can trust, who she respects and they are people who she can be comfortable and relaxed with.

. Understanding the formula of making deep connection helps men to reduce the chances of getting flaky numbers.

So why do men avoid making deep connection?

Men usually have much more of a “bravado” in comparison to woman, and they are much more conscious of what image they wish to display to others, and generally men will only lower that bravado and drop the “bull shit” with a very few select people. Some men cannot even bare the thought of crying in front of people; even the very idea makes them cringe.

Men view strength, confidence and success as the attractive qualities they must uphold in order to obtain respect from both men and woman, and so obviously crying or admitting that they have problems, fears, Insecurities etc would only serve to damage their image that they have spent years in perfecting.

Now DON’T PANICK! I know you are thinking that this is going to be the part where I try to change you, and tell you to drop the bravado and start showing your inner emotions, fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities and become one of these ‘new age metrosexual men’

ABSOLOUTLY NOT! I can’t think of anything worse than going out with a “big girls blouse” This is a term I unfortunately find myself using more and more due to the fact that men are being told to act like “a wimp” in order to connect with woman.

Having a guy take me out on a date, and who wants to talk about emotions and feelings all evening and how he feels weak and/or unloved or a guy who wants to divulge every nittty gritty insecurity he has would completely turn me off, . Me and my friends often ring each other after an unsuccessful date, and it’s becoming increasingly more common for us to complain that the man made us feel too strong, too alpha too powerful for him to handle. Anyway, that’s a different story for another time.

The point I’m making here, is that I have no intention in giving you any advice that will make you come across needy, new age, metrosexual or effeminate. (There’s enough woman monthly magazines making a good job of that already)

The point I am making however, is that woman do not share the guys obsessive need to KEEP UP SOME SORT OF BRAVADO. Granted that woman DO where bravado, but the difference is that they can feel a great sense of relief when it comes down. (Unlike men who feel temporarily exposed and vulnerable when their bravado comes down)

We are more open to talking about how we feel, our insecurities, fears and needs, but because men feel that divulging such information to a stranger is almost alien to them. They subsequently presume that women feel the same, and so they choose to avoid making deeper connections with the woman.

Us women however, do not consider that talking about our problems, feelings, insecurities and emotions as weak. We can really enjoy and embrace that moment when we can finally stop playing the role of “Miss Bitch” or “Miss Perfect” or “Miss Sex Kitten” or whatever role we have chosen to convey for that evening, week, month, life time. It really feels like a sense of release when we can be “our selves”,

Men would do well to understand this about woman, and rather than him seeing it through his own perspective, he should instead see it through her eyes..

Just because your mates don’t want to open up and share their feelings with one and other, and just because you might see it as an act which could tarnish your reputation or image, doesn’t mean that woman share this view point.

Do not presume that the girl with “The bitch bravado” is a cold heartless and evil person. Do not presume that the “shy girl mask” is boring and has nothing shocking or interesting to offer. Do not presume that the girl with “Bimbo” image is empty and insincere. Like you guys we put on a mask and create a bravado, alter ego what ever you want to call it for a number of different reasons. If you can get past that mask, you will not embarrass her or make feel uncomfortable like how most men would feel. Instead you will make her feel relaxed and the respect she has for you will increase dramatically. Far more than the guys who get caught up on just the surface level.

In the next part I will share with you the step-by-step process that I teach my students in order for them to obtain a deep and lasting connection with a woman, with out you having to alter the macho alpha strong image that you have worked so long on perfecting.

For more information about Kezia and the team, and to get your questions answered click this link: DATING COACH



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7 thoughts on “Impact makes ‘deep connection’

  1. Ron Janpanah

    Kezia, you’re always really great at distinguishing the contrast that exists between the way how men and women think and perceive. I very much enjoyed reading this article. There were times for me that I have made a strong positive impact with some girl’s impression of me (at the parties I used to go to)…that they would end up calling ME in the next day or two. This would happen to me when I would be there just having an interesting conversation and not trying to get a phone number or trying to pick them up. I actually was being genuinely interested and paying attention to their responses and they would somehow end up being enough comfortable with me that they would open up and share their inner thoughts and feelings with me. For the life of me, at the time, I had no idea where and when in the conversation I was doing the right thing and why I was earning this kind of deep connection and trust but I was enjoying my time with them. Of-course, looking back at it, now I know. Your article here has shed a much brighter light on what I was doing right. Your sharing your knowledge from a woman’s perspective is very refreshing, priceless and informative and is very much appreciated. You have made many great points in this article. Thank you for sharing with us Kezia. You’re the best.

  2. Tim Hofmans

    I think your blog is great. I just added it to my Google News Reader. Found it on Bing though. I love the suggestions Keep up the wonderful work.

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