Pre-approach
“The man who makes chemistry understands the interaction starts before a word has been spoken or eyes have even met”
Pre approach is the little few minutes or sometimes few seconds you have before the interaction begins, and boy oh boy aren’t those few seconds important. In this section we will be looking at how you can get yourself in the appropriate state before talking to a woman and how to prepare your self in terms of logistics. You will learn how to assess the situation in a manner that will be discreet. You will also learn how to extinguish any niggling doubts and last second nerves that even the best pick up artists get from time to time, but most importantly you will learn the art of never becoming outcome depending ever again.
This week we will be looking at..
Assessing the situation
Women are masters of this art! We are watching everything. We know who is coming through that door and who is leaving, we know whether the guy we like the look of is popular, has a girlfriend or is gay very early on, just by discreetly looking at him. We have the skill of “assessing the situation” down to a fine art. This applies to assessing other woman too. We are aware of when a stunning looking woman has walked in to the room, and we are also aware if other people are aware of her presence too. Yet men seem to be oblivious to how obvious they can be when they are the ones assessing situation. Its as if they are in the own bubble, and no one can see their facial expressions every time a hot girl walks by, or when they are standing in the middle of the room staring at a large group of girls, whilst everyone around them is dancing and having a good time. So here is some advice from a woman, who manages to assess situations without anybody realising it, even though I’m half blind! (I refuse to wear my glasses in public)
Before we get to the “opening line” we must first look at what is going on in that head of yours, the moment you actually spot the girl you wish to approach. First of all, if you’re a beginner, check out what the situation exactly is. There is a correct way of doing this in a discrete manner. You might think you are being discreet hanging around near her for ages, but be warned, woman are very aware of those guys who hang around them for longer than is necessary,
When this common scenario takes place, there seems to be 2 parallel universes going on. On one hand, the man believes that he’s being subtle and he thinks she’s not yet aware of his presence, she on the other hand is only too aware of his presence, in fact, she spotted him from the corner of her eye ages ago, she also knows very well that he’s struggling desperately to pluck up the courage to speak her, unfortunately the more he is delaying the moment the more he is decreasing his chances.
When me and my friends go out, we always laugh amongst each other (well, not me since I’m a little more sympathetic due to the nature of my work) at the guy who aimlessly stands close to us, bobbing his head uncomfortably and out of sync with music, every time one of us looks over, he looks away and then back, he attempts to smile at us now and again, and more often than not this guy will start looking at his cell phone at an imaginary text a few times too many. This whole sherade can last for ages, and by the time he has unsubtly danced his way over to the group from the chosen spot he seemed to be stuck to. He has unfortunately near to no chance of pulling anyone from the group. It sadly becomes apparent that he is unaware that he has been the cause of our giggling for some time.
There is of course a way to prevent this. If you are going with a friend to a bar or a club, a great way to check out the woman in the place, and of course to assess the situation of a particular woman, is to have your friend in front of you whilst you are talking to each other, Never EVER have him on the side of you, as it will become too obvious to the woman that you decide to check out. Girls hate going to the bar to get a drink when there is a long line of guys there, shoulder to shoulder. Their heads turn simultaneouslyas she walks by them, and again, she is fully aware even if those guys think they are being discreet.
If you are talking with your friend face to face, it shows first of all that you are there enjoying the company of your friend(s) regardless of whether there are hot woman all over the place, it shows you are content to take your time and enjoy your evening at your leisure. The clever part is that not only can you get a lot more of an idea of the situation but you can also do it more discretely without her or her friends suspecting. Now and again you look over your friends shoulder, to see whats going on, he can also be assessing the situation behind you, in case something better comes along. This way you can literally have eyes at the back of your head, you get a 360-degree view of the room. Woman have plenty of subtle signals that we give each other when we spot someone we like, or someone we want to get away from, or someone who we think is attached, why don’t you guys get some more of these subtle signals.
I think it’s funny that sometimes when I’m walking behind 2 guys in the street, and when turns around and see me, then he whispers something to his friend, who will automatically look at me to, and then he will stop dead in his tracks and look over to the nearest shop window, and wait for me to go by so he can check out the back of me too, just in case I had a tail or something like that.
I once said to a guy who did this as I went passed him.
“Next time you want to check me out from the back, it’s a good idea you don’t pick a “Mothercare” store to look at first.
What you are looking for
A true pick up artist sees less between him and his target, than another man normally would, What the average man may see as obstacles that are in the way, such as the chance she may have a boyfriend, or the fact she might be a bitch, or whether she’s with a large group of people, a mixed group, where by there are men with her as well as woman, or whether she looks angry or not, A pick up artist will not see these as obstacles, in fact his view point will take a 180 degree turn, and as a result, he will see some of these so called obstacles as positives. For example.
If she looks like a bitch, then maybe everyone else is thinking the same thing, there for she’s probably getting hassled much less, then the friendly girl.
If she’s with a large group of friends, rather than seeing this as a hindrance, he will see this as a way of making it easier, to approach her, as she will fill less venerable than if she was on her own or with just another friend, and if she doesn’t like him then she’s always got another few good-looking girl friends he can get an intro to. (Note, the very fact a man shows he is not scared of opening a large group of woman, gives him extra points before he has even finished his first sentence)
If you learn the techniques that teach you the ways that give you the ability to crush these obstacles, and of course you practice and perfect them you will begin to see EVERY woman as a potential. But if you are beginner then its best to not plunge in to the deep end, you don’t want to start off approaching mega bitches, or girls who are in a long-term relationship. Especially since we have not covered those areas yet. Keep it relatively easy when you start.
As a beginner you should be looking out for the following:
Is she getting hassled a lot? If the answer is yes then try to see what the guys seem to be doing that is making her reject them, and watch how she is rejecting them too.
See who she is with, is it a mix group? if the answer yes, could one f those guys be her boyfriend?
If she is in a big group of girls, check to see if she is the alpha or the leader of the group, and if she’s not, then who Is?
See what sate she is in, is she in a high energy state, where by she’s dancing laughing, possibly drinking and basically showing to everyone how much fun she is having? Or is she in a low energy state where she seems to be sitting, not really laughing too much and barley dancing. This will determine what energy state you should approach her with.
Check out the area around her, where are you going to stand or sit when talking to her, you want to be in the best position possible, if she’s sitting down, look to see if there is a near by chair you can grab, or if there is room next to her, you don’t want to be crouching next to her knees on the floor for half an hour, and you don’t want to be standing up looking down at her for too long either. Be careful when you see an empty space next to her at a crowded bar, this space is empty for a reason, and it’s probably because that spot is the part of the bar where the staff walks through. You don’t want to talk to her, with bar and waiting staff asking you to move every 2 minutes.
hope this helps..
much more effective ways of dealing with the dreaded approach anxiety can be found in my book
“15 STEPS TO BECOMING A MASTER SEDUCER”
Ross Jeffries seminars never fail to amaze me, and so I will be there for most of the three days absorbing his wisdom.
