DEALING WITH Approaching Anxiety by ALI

posted on September 05, 2010 16


AA: Reason for Breakdown or Force for Breakdown Cover?

The biggest challenge, we face during our journey to become masters at connecting with women is Approach Anxiety (AA). It is persistent. It never goes away. I know I am supposed to say it goes away if you do 1 trillion approaches or have 10some or something. Truth is that it just doesn’t.

AA is how fear manifests itself in dating. Fear as any other emotion integral to our very being. Fear’s function is to protect our safety. Fear tends to override all other emotions and control our actions. Question is therefore, how do you deal with fear / AA? Is fear / AA really a bad thing? Do we have to look into ways of totally eliminating it? I don’t think so. Let me explain…

I have AA. Funny thing is that I am happy to have AA! It keeps gaming fun and challenging for me all the time, as well as making my interactions genuine. Nowadays, my AA is somewhere between a distant whisper to butterflies in my stomach depending on a given situation. Despite AA, I would go in to sets and be comfortable as if talking to my best buddies, come up with silly-funny or book-perfect lines responses, sexually escalate, how to sexually escalate with girls, how to sexually escalate with women, sexual escalation, sexual escalation tips, sexual escalation skills, sexual escalation classes like they were my girl friends and close like any other MPUA. In this article, I will share with you some of my techniques to reach to that level of comfort with women. Also, I want to demonstrate a different perspective on AA and how positive a force it could be to your game.

OK, so how do we transform AA from a crippling thing to a force for breakdown cover? There are physical and psychological exercises. I am going to share few of them here with you.

Connecting with women is like exercising mental and emotional muscles. Some has strong and firm muscles as they work at it regularly, some don’t because they just simply do not… How do you go about exercising muscle building? You do warm-up first. Your warm-up should progressively get harder leading to the ‘heavy work-out’.

Physical Exercises:
If it is Day-game

1) Stop any woman with a smile and ask where a certain shop or station is. Thank her and wish her a good day

2) Stop any woman with a smile and ask where a certain shop or station is. After her answer (no matter what it is), you thank her and compliment something about her (i.e. her hair, dress, smile, etc.). Wish her a good day and leave

3) Stop any woman with a smile and ask where a certain shop or station is. After her answer (no matter what it is), you thank her and compliment something about her (i.e. her hair, dress, smile, etc.). Carry on the conversation for 30secs or so (a short story about why you asked the very first question and make a positive assumption about her and ask a question – she looks trendy and well accessorised, is she a full-time shopaholic?). Wish her a good day and leave


Do a couple of full approach – close sets. They are not likely to go that great but you will have some fun memories to tell your friends (this is what I do nowadays). Your following sets will get only better. For instance, yesterday I had a great first set experience and walked off. Then a minute later realised that I forgot to ask her number, her dumb-struck facial expression made sense by then…

If it is Night-game:
1) Say hi to bar / night club stuff in your way in and when ordering your drink. Ask how they are feeling with a big smile on your face

2) Ask a woman what time it is. Thank her and introduce yourself and ask her name. Wish her good night and leave

3) Say hi to a woman. Introduce yourself. Compliment her (or you can compliment her and then introduce yourself, whichever you prefer). Wish her good night and leave

4) Say hi to a woman. Introduce yourself. Compliment her (or you can compliment her and then introduce yourself, whichever you prefer). Carry on the conversation for 30secs or so (like a story why you are there, ask her why she is there that night). Wish her good night and leave

After this, you would be good to go. Important thing is that you immediately approach a set. Stay in it at least few minutes and leave her/them on a high point with ‘nice meeting you guys, gotta go back to my friends. catch you later’. You can always go back to that set later on that night. If you left them on high point and you had fun, they will welcome you with warm hugs (if not, you get it anyway hehe) Even if it didn’t go that well, doesn’t matter. Treat it as another warm-up set and laugh at your mistakes. Now, you are warmed up enough to do a proper set.

Psychological Exercises:
Tiny bit of text on how I see AA helps my game then the exercises…

Wouldn’t you agree that activities or challenges that have an element of danger or unknown hold an exultant attractiveness to them? Like theme park rides, bungee jumping, horror movies or approaching a beautiful woman, etc. If talking to and connecting to a beautiful woman was as easy as ordering coffee in a shop, would it be as much fun and special? I realised that when my interactions lack a bit of AA and its lingering effects of nervousness and excitement, I do not enjoy them, don’t come up with great results. AA makes things natural and organic for me. Otherwise, I feel like a businessman who is devoid of humanity; concentrated on material things and numbers. I have met PUAs who are like that. Their only purpose in life is to game as many women as they humanly can and hope that they go to heaven of holy vaginas when they are dead. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the notion of living like a dildo for bimbos… (they can only game bimbos with that mentality).

Last Friday night, I went out with one of my best friends who happen to be a hot woman magnet. (He has some weird way of gaming, I am working on breaking it down guys. So much material there) He wanted to see me gaming, me being a dating coach and all. I demonstrated a couple of times (one with a lesbian couple and an usual two set). He was close by and listening. His feedback was striking. He said I just came up with witty/funny responses in a flash; it didn’t feel natural. No one does that. He said I didn’t make any mistakes. If he didn’t listen but just watch, he would be blown out by how easy and comfortable I made things look. I thought about it and realised it was because I had no AA, I just blocked it. In the following sets, I let AA loose and I enjoyed my interactions better. Make AA your friend, as it is not your enemy in the first place anyway.

1) AA cause sinking feeling in people’s mind when they see a beautiful woman and don’t approach her. So next time when you develop AA physical and mental symptoms, you just approach her straight. And just ask what time is it or whatever (see physical exercises). After a while, when you see a beautiful woman, you will find yourself walking up to her or running after her unconsciously… Only reason people don’t approach is that most of the time they don’t know what to say. Now you do 🙂 Tell that little voice if it tells you that you don’t know what to say, that YOU DO! YOU JUST DO! After a while, your naughty AA kid becomes a fully-fledged supporting grown-up inside your head and you will have full convos in no time.

2) Making mistakes is totally acceptable. We are not perfect. Make mistakes. Make big mistakes. Bigger the mistakes, more fun it is! We only laugh at fuck ups if you didn’t realise. So whenever you mess things up, laugh about it. Smiling and laughing is the best cure ever! There is no bad approach, there is fun ones and there is good ones. All my students know that I enjoy getting blown-out more than positive ones. I normally talk about my spectacular blow-outs actually come to think of it…

3) Find her imperfections. If she is like a 9, concentrate on that little flaw that makes her a 9 but not a 10. She is too tall; she is busty but no other curves; she is 10 but stuck up. Her flaws funny enough makes her appear more human

4) Do not go out to pick up. Go out to have good time. When you see a beautiful woman, open her to have a normal conversation. if you two hit it off, then go for close. Otherwise, you had positive interactions and improved your conversation skills. Outer beauty is not a good indicator of a beautiful personality or attractiveness. Know that you will see a super hot girl every 15 – 20 minutes (if not more often) every day… learn art of – how to seduce women, how to pick up girls, how to pick up sexy girls, how to attract sexy women, how to attract sexy girls, how to attract females, Natural seduction, how to attract hot girls.

Next I will talk about Direct vs Indirect Game.



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16 thoughts on “DEALING WITH Approaching Anxiety by ALI

  1. Ross Jeffries

    Here is my take on it. i’m not dissing your view but reporting a different set of experiences and results from a different view point and a different set of tools.

    I don’t think there IS such a thing as “Approach Anxiety”. At least not in the way other PUAs teach it.

    A story: when I was a kid, I liked to break my younger brother Steve’s toys.

    Well, one Hannukah(yes, I’m a Hebrew!) my sister Anita bought him a cool toy robot. The robot could only do three things:

    1. Make the lights in his eyes blink at different speeds.

    2. Move foward.

    3. Move backwards

    (Hey, I know this is primitive shit. But when I was a kid, we didn’t even have cassette tapes and color TV was still rare!)

    Anyway, for shits and giggles, I decided to press the control for the robot to go forward and the robot to go backward AT THE SAME TIME.

    What did the robot do?

    Well the robot got “Approach Anxiety”.

    It shook. The tiny little motor revved up super-fast. It gave off some nice blue smoke(very cool!) and then the motor burned out and the robot fell over.

    And for the most part, that is what I see AA as being: neurological conflict. Wanting to move forward to the woman AND hold still until the absolutely perfect thing to say with a guarantee of success comes to mind.

    It’s not about survival fear at all. It’s about internal conflict and neurological friction that gets mislabeled as a sign the guy is about to get humiliated or fail in the external world outside of his skin.

    Seeing it this way opens up a whole range of methods and approaches to truly eliminate AA.

    All due respect to you and the team-I enjoyed meeting you in London.

    Tell me what you think.


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