Dealing with rejection when she is in your “social circle”

Posted on January 23, 2011 4

So she says NO…
And she is in your social circle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A lot of guys resist asking out a girl who might be associated with their network of friends or aquaitances. for fear of feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed when everyone finds out. Rejection is one thing, but having it made public amongst people you know adds another dilemma!
Recently a lot of my students have asked me ways in how they can deal with rejection when the girl is in their network of friends, and is someone whom they will most probably have to see again.
So here is my answer:

First of all let’s cover what you should not do!

1. DO NOT start apologizing to the girls, telling her how you did not wish to make her feel uncomfortable or how you hope you can still be friends. This shows her that you were somehow ‘ashamed’ or ‘embarrassed” about your feelings for her.

2. DO NOT ignore the situation. As a consequence of pretending as if nothing has happened you might very well create the ‘elephant in the room” scenario. This means that the more you ignore something the bigger it gets.

What you should do is play the comedian! Next time you see her EXAGERATE the fact that she broke your heart and make sure you do it in front of the other people. Sounds crazy right? This is social suicide right? WRONG!
Think outside the box for a moment; remember your alternative choices are useless! And let me explain how this works by sharing with you the details of a situation, which happened to me a few months ago.

Jack was a great guy I knew, and still know, who was very much part of my social circle. We regularly saw each other at parties, clubs and even at Sunday brunches when my friends and me all geo together to discuss the details of the previous Saturday night.
With out warning, jack one day approached me when I was alone at a club and made a move on me. He told me that he liked me and wanted to go out with me on a date some time, I declined as politely as possible, and all I could think about was how awkward this was going to be from now on. I anticipated the awkward silences at our inevitable future social gatherings, and predicted he would be cold and aloof with me and perhaps that he would even make sure he wouldn’t be present at any of our ‘get togethers’ when he knew I would be there!
I was wrong!
Jack was amazing at how he dealt with the rejection. The next time we met after he asked me out, was in a small quiet bar a week later, The first thing he did when he saw me was put his hand on his heart in an obvious and hugely over dramatic state and declare:
“ This girl broke my heart”
He OBVIOUSLEY was pretending he was devastated but not in a conceited or bitter manner.
The only way I could response was by laughing.
He intentionally went into role-play mode. Playing the heart broken lover to perfection.
This comical scene was a perfect way to add laughter to the situation.
Rather than pretend as if nothing had happened, he purposefully brought the fact that he had asked me out to everyone attention.

As a result I was NOT made to look like a heartless bitch like so many guys have done to girls in the past who have rejected them, and instead, he conveyed the message that the fact he asked me out was in fact NOT a big deal. By over doing the role of the heart broken man, he conveyed the message that it was a scenario that could be laughed at rather than ignored.
In doing this, Jack actually became far more attractive to me and the other female members of the social group. He presented him self as a strong and confident man who handeld rejection as something to be laughed at rather than to be embarrassed about.

I hope this helps guys out there who are worried about the outcome of getting rejected by a girl in their social circle. For fear of what other members of the social circle will think.

If you want to start increasing your current level of success with women, then remember to check out the 12-hour PICK UP ARTIST COURSE,and the amazing 7-day PUA COURSE
Where you can work with Kezia and the rest of the team!

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4 thoughts on “Dealing with rejection when she is in your “social circle”

  1. Olu

    I lady in my own social circle just said NO to me today, I was already feeling down, then I came across this blog… Wow. Thanks, you just saved me from myself.

  2. Pingback: Dealing with Rejection When the Girl is Part of Your Social Circle

  3. Clive

    How do you get a girl you see regularly to choose to sit near to you?
    How do you let a girl you know, to choose to sit near to you?
    I was not after anything romantic but just friendship.

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