“How do I stop getting in the friend zone?”
This is usually the result of being “Mr nice guy” Mr Nice guy never presents a challenge, never teases or pokes any fun at the woman. The nice guy always lowers his own value in order to make her feel good. But most importantly of all, the nice guy never ever tries to sexually escalate the interaction.
Being the Nice guy is often mistaken for being the Good guy. But nothing is further from the truth, The good guy constantly presents a challenge to the women, and always keeps her on her toes as a result, the good guy demonstrates high value (Unlike the nice guy) But most importantly the good guy and the bad guys NEVER avoid sexually escalating the interaction.
Mr Nice guy is in fact BLAND, FORGETTABLE AND REPLACEABLE. Which are three loathsome characteristics that women will never be attracted to in a million years.
This answer is also a response to the common question “Do nice guys finish last?”
Yes they do! But not the good guys..
“Do looks play a huge part?”
Having good looks is what is known as possessing a “ natural advantage”. Any coach or pick up artists that says having good looks makes no difference at all is lying. It does make a difference, but let me make this clear right now. It does NOT make a HUGE or DRASTIC difference. If you are good looking, whether its because you worked hard to achieve your looks or whether its an (unfair) natural advantage, then you will automatically score your self more time with the women whom you choose to approach, compared to a man who is not initially her physical type.
Rather than 5 minutes, you might get around 10 minutes. (That’s a whole extra 5 minutes compared to the guy who is not her “physical type” 5 minutes extra is not bad but its not great either. (Like I said, having good looks makes a difference but not a great deal of difference) But remember that a lot of good looking guys out there, rely on their natural advantage to the point whereby its makes them lazy. The woman might be physically attracted to him at first, which will give him a good head start. But if he has nothing more to offer than a ‘beautiful painting’ and gives her ZERO in psychological stimulation. Then he will be rejected very quickly.
Natural advantage can actually breed laziness. I have met some really breathtakingly gorgeous men who make little or no effort in their personality, and they often get frustrated and bitter towards their less good looking friends who seem to get all the hot babes. Women are less visual than men, and although a girl with a pretty face and good figure can literally get a way with murder, a man cannot!
What are the best types of openers?
All openers have the potential to be great! Whether they are story telling openers, opinion openers, canned openers, cheeky openers, situational observation openers, or direct openers.
The way a man delivers it and what his reaction or his response is to the woman’s reaction or response to his opener is far more important.
For instance, If I were to give you these three opening lines that I, and women that I know have had used on them. Which ones do you think got successful results?
. “Hello, are you Italian?”
. “If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I next to U”
. “I know this sounds random, but I had to come up to you and tell you that you have the most incredible smile I have ever seen”
The answer is ALL OF THEM!
“Hello are you Italian?” was directed to me. I replied “No”, and rather than the man uncomfortably attempting to change the subject by asking me my name or where I was from. (Like most guys would do) He instead cheekily replied, “That’s too bad then”
Of course I was not expecting this response, and the slight impact had provoked me enough to ask him why. He smiled, and told me how he wanted an Italian girlfriend, because he had heard they were the best lovers and the best all round girlfriends. Of course this soon all lead to a full-blown conversation. And eventually an exchange in numbers and a seven-month relationship
Even the cringeworthy “I next U” line did incredibly well.
The reason why, was again because of his response/reaction to her response/reaction. When he had finished this line on my friend, there was a small pause just before she was about to reply, “Go away”. And it was at this second just before the words came out of her mouth that he burst out laughing, and said:
“I had to try that line, I wanted to see if any woman would ever find that cool. My name is Jack by the way, and yours?”
Again, it’s all down to the way you respond/react to her reaction/response. And of course the actual way you deliver the opening line is extremely important too.
What’s better: ‘Direct approach’ or ‘Indirect approach’?
Both of these approaches have their good points and their bad points.
Direct approach, means going up to the woman and immediately telling her you are attracted to her, or words to that effect.
“This is really random, but I think you are incredibly hot and I would like to get to know you more”
This kind of approach can eliminate time wasters, because if she agrees to carry on talking to you after the fact that you have revealed your intention, then it is fair to say that she is showing a clear sign of interest or an I.O.I (indicator of interest) and as long as you don’t mess up after that, then the chances you get her number are very high.
However, using direct approach, might force a woman (especially a shy one) to react immediately and respond with a “no thanks I’m not interested”. Even if she thought you were good looking and was actually actively looking for a boyfriend. The reason for this is because it can sometimes overwhelm someone when they are presented with the idea where they must make a quick decision.
This is where indirect approach has its benefits. Because with indirect approach, she will give you more time to build up a rapport with her before you make your move.
Unfortunately, you might have spent 20 minutes building rapport etc only for her to say at the end when you ask her for her number that she’s seeing someone! Where as the guy who uses direct approach would have spoken to about 5 women since then.
The choice is yours, but I believe from my experience in working with so many students on both direct and indirect game. That rather than confining your self to one of the approach styles, you should instead do both. Direct game, when you are in a particular positive frame of mind, and when you have little or no time to have a long conversation. Indirect game should be used when you have more time to spare.
How do you find out if a girl is seeing someone, with out asking her directly?
This is easy. Obviously you don’t want to just come out with that uncomfortable line “So, are you seeing someone?” The obvious reason for this is because it makes it too clear to the woman that she is being targeted, and it’s also a bit of a conversation killer!
Instead, a good way to find out if she has a boyfriend is to casually say to the woman that you are good at reading people. Tell her you always seem to get things right about people. (Woman love cold readings by the way, and being psychoanalysed, some pick up artists often call this: ‘chick crack’ literally meaning something that women are addicted to) After telling her this, tell her (again casually) that you can tell she is seeing somebody by her body language or the way she keeps touching the ring on her finger etc,
If she says yes I am, then just smile and smoothly make your excuses and leave. (Or pursue, the choice is yours)
If she says “No” then just look surprised, and tell her that you always read people correctly, and are surprised that you read her wrong. This way she will think that you had no intention in asking her out because you had presumed beforehand that she was attached. Little does she know that you just needed the information before smoothly making your move.
How do I compliment a woman without being a cliché?
The best way to do this is by using what I call the double-sided compliment.
A double-sided compliment, is a little like handing someone a rose with a sharp thorn that pricks them.
Tell her that you think she looks great BUT if she was a brunette/a blonde/wore less makeup/wore a suit etc. Then she would look even more stunning.
This way, you give her a compliment but at the same time you are telling her that there is still room for improvement. She will not be offended, because don’t forget, you DID tell her that she looked hot to begin with. Why is this a good way to compliment a woman? Simple. The reason lies in the fact that you demonstrated to her that you have high standards and not only that, but unlike other guys, you are not afraid to be honest with her. She will see this as a refreshing change from the other guys who give endless compliments, which she probably thinks he is giving every woman he meets.
The only time you give her compliment (with out the BUT) is during the seduction or sexual escalation, by then she would have trusted you enough, and your compliment will come across as sincere rather than needy or sleazy.
Do beautiful women only go for tall good-looking rich men?
No! No! No!
I have plenty of beautiful, in fact, stunningly beautiful friends, and ALL of them have dated at one time or another “physically” unattractive men or poor men or short men. Equally I have friends who are not so beautiful who have dated “physically” very attractive men.
A beautiful woman will not necessary go for a handsome man, and an average girl will not necessarily go for an average looking man. However, beautiful girls are often chatted up by attractive, wealthy, powerful men, simply because these men usually have a higher belief system in them selves, and are therefore unafraid to approach the hottest girl in the room. Obviously more approaches equals more opportunities which equals a higher success rate than making zero approaches. Subsequently lots of hot men will be dating hot women. But this is only a result of the fact that they are making more approaches because of their high belief system.
It is also a common misconception that beautiful woman are constantly approached. Beautiful women are stared at a lot, but few of those men who stand there gawping at them actually have the balls to approach her. Remember the next time you see a hot woman that she probably is getting chatted up as much as her ‘average’ looking friend standing next to her.
Also, if other women notice you chatting up the most stunning woman in the room, they will automatically consider you to be a man of high value and high standards.
Kezia Noble and The Team
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