This blog post was written by MARK J, who specifically works on day game and students who suffer from approach anxiety……enjoy!
Today’s blog/tip is a direct response to a video I saw on Youtube a few weeks ago. The video itself is not the issue (so don’t bother searching for it), it was the comments left below it that have forced my typing-hand. The video involved a student practising daygame. He was fairly new at it, but approaching and getting varied results. His approach was direct, polite and simple. Exactly what I myself teach. He would stop them, and say something like:
“Excuse me. Hi. I was just on my way to meet a friend, but saw you walking past, and had to come over and tell you I think you’re absolutely stunning. Hi, I’m X”
Now, we all know what a horrific troll-filled place Youtube can be sometimes, but within the mess of spam links and memes came a constant thread of critique. A slew of comments all along the lines of:
“Why are all guys in London using this line still?? It’s so boring, every girl on Oxford Street has heard it!!!!”
THIS is what I take issue with. Now, you might think that’s the most basic, simple, unimaginative opener you can use. The version above is what I would consider the “default” version of this opener, if you will. However, I am here today to defend it. Why? Because of a staple of daygame that people ignore. Honesty. So today I urge anyone practises daygame, whether beginner or advanced, not to take this out of your arsenal just yet.
Now of course, the “default” version of this opener is there as a first step, a crutch. After that, you have to take it (as with all game) and make it your own. Change the false time constraint, the compliment, tell her it’s totally random what you’re about to say, details, details, details, etc.
They key? HONESTY!!!!!!
So why is honesty so important with this opening gambit during daygame?
Remember, this is not a nightclub. She is NOT expecting this to happen. She is not with friends, no protection, no music, no alcohol. For the first 30 seconds, this is not a two-way game, it’s one-way. We are doing all the work. Therefore in these situations, ambiguity is the enemy. It leads to things like the Friend Zone, and makes it much more difficult to make our intentions clear and/or escalate.
So consider all those videos from world-famous PUA’s telling you open on the street with directions etc. Let’s say you deliver this perfectly, and then try to transition naturally. I’m not saying it never works (there are no 100%’s in pickup as we all know), but after a while, she’s going to twig what you’re doing. At this point, what do you think she’s thinking?
a) I answered you, so why are we now having this conversation about jobs/sports/music etc?
b) He wants to hit on me, but doesn’t have the balls, and thinks I don’t know what’s going on
Clearly, neither of these is good. We all know that women have the most finely tuned bullshit-detectors on the planet, so why not get all your hard work done up front?
Now, of course, I’m not saying use this approach for every set during the daytime. Those who’ve worked with me know I teach that environment will dictate your approach. What you do in a bookshop, the queue at Starbucks etc etc, is different, as each approach needs specific calibration. This is specific to daygame approach on the street.
This opener is especially good for people who are starting out, especially if you are someone that suffers from Approach Anxiety (AA). Why? Because it is the most honest expression of your feelings in the moment.
In essence, IT’S NOT A LINE AT ALL. No bullshit, no clever routine, no sleaziness, just your true thoughts out loud. As I said before, the more experienced you become, you’re going to want to customize it to fit each scenario and make it perfect for you. The more work you out into your pre-approach, the more details you can apply to this opener, which will give you more options with different targets.
So remember guys; go out there, be strong and HONEST, and you will get the results you’re looking for.
I’ll see you in the field.
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