Agreeing and Disagreeing with Women
This blog post was written by Hadassa Noble, who is one of the most highly respected wing girls in Europe.
When men think how to get a girl to like you, one of the most important points they think of is to have things in common – this is in order to share good times together, not argue and to possible live relatively easy lives together. However, more often than not, I hear about perfectly good relationships developing often despite of a lack of shared interests. Two people can be so different, from basic interests to core ethics – yet this often doesn’t stands in the way of a relationship and RARELY stands in the way of attraction.
Men who agree with women constantly are usually trying to find their way into her good books. The motive being that if he likes the same movies, books, tv shows as her, and has all the same hobbies – she’ll view him as some one-in-a-million guy that understands her.
Sure, it’s great finding someone who shares your common interests, you can have a great laugh and chit chat about all your favourite things together. But guys…this is what FRIENDS are for!
Apart from some disagreement making for much more exciting banter it also proves a few other things.
· It shows you are comfortable in your own skin, with no shame in what your interests are; whether it be Football or Star Trek. You are who you are, and you won’t change for anyone – you are confident and independent and don’t need to prove yourself to any woman.
· Admitting, honestly, if you agree or disagree with any of her points; reveals your personality. It is important that she knows something about you before you try and close her.
· Disagreeing with and challenging a girl on her passions will ignite some debate. Although some men are worried that she’ll think negatively of them if this should happen, however, challenging a girl on her interests is not a personal attack and she should never see it as such.
· It is important to bear in mind, that you’ve gone to speak to an attractive woman and now you’re seeing is she’s good enough FOR YOU, not the other way around. Now, you may not care if she’s hasn’t watched Die Hard as many times as you have but you may care if she can stand up for herself and express her interests articulately and with fortitude.
· It is important to validate a girl, both positively and negatively, to put yourself in a higher position in which she needs to please you. If you disagree with her about something and you give her a reason why; she will try and prove herself to you.
Here is an example of Negative Validation:
Girl: I’m going to watch some reality TV later!
Guy: Oh…you like reality TV?
Girl: yeah….what’s wrong?
Guy: Nothing….only….I thought you seemed so intelligent and pretty cultured, I pictured you watching something much more high brow than that…
Girl: Well I don’t just watch reality TV…It’s just nice sometimes to watch something silly for a laugh. Personally I really love the History Channel.
As you see the girl is trying to prove herself to the guy, when she found out he disapproved of her choice she immediately tried to defend herself and prove her worth. She will see you as a strong figure who has set the bar for her which she must reach.
She may react differently to this when you negatively validate, in which you can turn it into a positive validation:
Girl: I’m going to watch reality TV later.
Guy: Guy: Oh…you like reality TV?
Girl: Yeah! I don’t care what people say, it’s hilarious. TV is for relaxing and that’s what I wanna watch.
Guy: While I hate Reality TV…I fucking love your honesty! Well done for not giving a shit!
Positive Validation should NOT involve the guy fawning over the girl, and showering her with compliments, this has the reverse effects and is similar to a guy agreeing with everything a girl says. Positive Validation should be a metaphorical pat on the head – However, DO NOT PATRONISE HER!
What if you do agree with her and by chance have a lot in common?
When you honestly do agree with something a woman says then by all means go for it, enjoy that moment when you can share something together. However, why not use this time to delve in deeper and discuss why this topic/thing is so important to her, what does it mean to her. Challenge her on the deeper feelings involved in this to make the conversation more exciting and stimulating.
In conclusion, do not feel obliged to agree with a girl constantly. Show her who you are and be unapologetic about your opinions and passions. If you disagree, debate and enjoy the energy and the energy she is investing in you. Don’t feel obliged to “agree to disagree” but validate her passion and her stubborn nature.
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