Impact Makes ‘Deep Connection’ PART 2
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PART 2
So now you understand that making a deep and solid connection with a woman is something that will help a GREAT deal.
You now need to learn how to do it.
A lot of men think that this can only be done by showing their own vulnerable side and that they have to open up and reveal their deepest darkest secrets. But like I said in Part 1. This is completely unnecessary. If you do this too early on, the woman might feel that you’re a bit of “a big girls blouse” or that you’re someone who wants to talk about themselves too much or worse somebody who needs some kind of pity from her. If you open up too much with the woman and keep talking about your own secrets/problems/worries etc then she might just sit back and listen and start to take the role of a psychiatrist. (Remember, woman are usually very good listeners, and are fairly happy to listen to peoples problems) Unfortunately, if this happens then it will not necessarily result in obtaining your desired goal of “creating a deep and solid connection”.
In order to make deep connection with a woman ,the first thing you must do is make impact.
Let me explain.
Say you ask her what she does for a living. This of course will create no impact at all with her. In fact, she might internally be thinking:
“Oh no! I ve been asked this a thousand times before by guys, and I don’t want to sit here for 20 minutes discussing my job”
But if you make impact with your RESPONSE to her job, then you will be taking the first and important step in to making a deep connection.
When a woman tells you what she does for a living, you are presented with 2 choices.
The first choice is to talk about her job and as a result keep the conversation on the surface level, consequently presenting your self as yet another man who she will not remember for long. (And yet another pointless chit chat/small talk conversation that will get lost forever in the world of “pointless chit chats”)
Or you can take the 2nd choice, which is to respond with something that most people do not ask her. Something, which will suddenly create a hairline shift in her perception of you. Something which will intrigue her and which will draw her in to the interaction with you more. Something that will create IMPACT!
Lets begin with what you should NOT respond with, so that you do NOT keep the interaction on the surface level.
The 4 most common and pointless questions men use to respond to a girls answer in relation to what she does for a living.
“How long have you done that for?’
“Do you like it?”.
“Where are you based/who do you work for?”
“How did you get in to that?”
Not only are these responses common and as a result she will automatically feel bored. But they serve to do nothing more than keeping the conversation on “small talk” terms.
Think about the people whom you have chitchat or small talk with. They are people who you are friendly with but not really close to, and you remain on chitchat basis with them because you have and they have no real intention of getting that close to one another. This can range from certain distant family members, people down the pub, or people you work with.
Another way to describe “chit chat/small talk” is ‘POLITE DETACHMENT”
So pose your self this question.
“Will polite detachment help me make deep connection with a women?”
Answer “NO”.
A better way to respond to her response in relation to what she does work wise in order to create impact and which will lead on to deep connection would be the following responses:
1. “Really? Is that something you wanted to do from a young age?”
This particular response always seems to make a small but enough impact on the woman, and she often shows great delight in answering this question. It takes her away from the mundane every day functions of her job, and allows her to remember her dreams and ambitions she once held. This will obviously lead to a far deeper level in the interaction.
2. “Does your job make you fulfilled, I mean, do you wake up with a smile on your face before you go to work?”.
Again, this is a thoughtful question, and shows her that you are interested to learn how she feels about her life and her work.
3. “Really, I thought you did something more in the arts/creative/drama (pick something which is opposite to what ever line of work she does).
This will make her curious and usually women reflect on this kind of response, as they sometimes internally question themselves i.e “Do I have other talents that I’m not using?”
4. “Tell me three things that you need in order to be successful at your job”.
This not only sets her a little task, but it also gets her to reveal certain characteristics about her self and/or characteristics that she would like to possess.
These are just a few examples of what you can do in response to a potentially dull answer.
There are many many more, but the point here is that you must make impact in your response in order to create connection.
As long as your manner is one of sincerity and you are not shows any signs of being antagonistic, then the woman will respond well.
In the third part of this blog, we will look at where you can take it from there, and how you can carry on making deeper connections without asking her too many questions.
KEZIA is a regular instructor on all live events including the 12 hour PUA TRAINING bootcamp with, and of course the life changing 7-day PICK UP mastery course PUA RESIDENTIAL
For more information about the PUA TRAINING BOOTCAMP with Kezia and her team go to:
PUA TRAINING BOOTCAMP with KEZIA
For more information about the PUA TRAINING residential course (THE 7 DAY PICK UP MASTERY COURSE) GO TO:
PUATRAINING RESIDENTIAL COURSE
For more info on KEZIA AND HER TEAM (click the link puatraining below):
PUATRAINING
December 9th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
brilliant
thankyou Kez for sharing
D
December 11th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Seems like you are a true professional. Did you study about the theme? haha
December 25th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Can someone translate it in German please? My English is not so good.
December 30th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
thanks. i love this article! can not wait for part 3.
January 4th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Great Post Kezia,
The explanation about women wanting their masks questioned and elleviated really jump started some of the latent thoughts around meaningful connection latley.
Regards
Nesh Alpha& Sooriyan
January 6th, 2010 at 11:56 am
This has been an interesting article, thanks for taking the time to cover it, it’s really helped me!
January 23rd, 2010 at 10:28 am
G’day Kezia,
Fantastic work – this is rock solid (and the kind of questions I typically ask anyways). Asking these type of questions that elicit a deeper response/connection definately distinguishes us from most other ppl.
Keep up the great work young lady – I’m a big fan and its great to have your ‘Female’ perspective to be more successful and prosperous with women : )
All the best
Fat Albert
January 24th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
The author of http://www.kezia-noble.com has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. Thanks for the info.
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