Know ‘yourself’

posted on December 30, 2010 5

Knowing who you are is by one of the most important points I teach my students if they want to DEMONSTRATE HIGH VALUE effectively (DHV)

Knowing your self:
-Knowing where you are going (in life/career/spiritually)
-Knowing where you do not want to go (life, career, spiritually)
-Knowing CLEARLY what your opinions and beliefs are
-Knowing what you want in life
-Knowing what your faults are

Yes you read right! Knowing your faults is extremely empowering. We will discuss this later.
If you know yourself, and recognize every aspect of your character you will not make the common mistake that men so often make when they are talking to a woman they like, which is:

“BENDING YOUR OWN REALITY IN ACCORDANCE WITH HERS” (OR ANYONE ELSES FOR THAT MATTER)

How many times have you or guys you know, changed their opinions or points of views to fit in with a woman’s reality? Women sense this, and as you can expect, they lose attraction for guys who bend their realities in accordance with theirs.
Nearly every guy I have ever dated had different points of views to mine. Everything from politics, popular culture, ambitions to personal style. But what they all shared that made them so attractive was their belief and awareness of those opinions, ambitions, points of views and outlooks.
As a result, they would (in a respectful manner) challenge my own, and force me to think outside of my own head, and invite me to understand THEIR realities.
When the woman begins to want understand your reality, you would also have managed to get her to EMOTIONALLY INVEST in you. (Another obvious bonus)
I love the book the GAME and have started re-reading it years later, to see how I felt about it as someone who has now been teaching guys in the community for a long time. The book keeps mentioning how peoples favorite subject is ‘themselves’ I agree with this statement, especially since I am an unapologetic egotist. And yet, there have been many times when I have been speaking to a guy, and all I wanted to do was to talk about was HIM; What he liked, what he wanted, what he hated, what his philosophy on life was etc. So how did these guys manage to distract me from my favorite subject “myself” and turn it around to be ALL ABOUT THEM?
Answer: They knew who they were COMPLETLEY. Their opinions were not there to be manipulated by a beautiful woman, their goals were not their to be judged or criticized, their likes and dislikes were not going to budge because they were simply ‘turned on’, and most importantly, their faults were displayed as a part of a beautiful flaw in their character that they wore unapologetically, (thus, drawing the girl in to wanting to understand why those flaws were there, and how she could perhaps heal them (in a submissive way- of course)

The reason most people like to talk about themselves, is because most people we meet are BORING, they are boring because:
-THEY CHOOSE to display in-between opinions about subjects, and even important issues
– THEY CHOOSE to bend their reality in accordance with others. (Consequently coming across as a ‘nice guy’ rather than “a great guy”)
-THEY CHOOSE to hide their goals, ambitions and dreams, out of fear that they will not some how PLEASE the woman, or that she will question him as a result.
-THEY CHOOSE to display vulnerability in relation to their faults/flaws, which only serve to destroy attraction.

NO WONDER PEOPLE END UP TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES! If the only other option is talking to a guy who has NOTHING to say for himself.

Situation of a date I went on a few years back

Me:” So what do you like to do for fun?”
James (lets call him that) “Well, erm, I like …erm traveling to South America”
Me.” Oh cool, what part?”
James: “I like the Amazon rain forest”
Me: “ Oh..Why?”
(James notices how apparent it is that I am not keen on wild life and trudging through vegetation, just to see a snake or a lizard.)
James: “ Well, it’s just a kinda of interest of mine, but it’s not really important…what type of holidays do you like?”
Me: “ I like luxury hotels, pools, good nightlife..A place where you have to do the MINIMUM in order to enjoy”
James “ oh cool, me too, that sounds great”
Me: “James, you just said you liked the Amazon rain forest”
James: “Well, its nice, but I like what you said too”
Me: “ James, I have a head ache, please call me a cab”
James” oh ok…why?”

This of course, is an extreme case, but I really do want to get the point over to you loud and clear!

“ DO NOT BEND YOUR OWN REALITY IN ACCORDANCE WITH HERS”

It will do you no favors.

In my next blog, I will share with you how knowing your self and your FLAWS can work for you. (From personal experience)

If you want to start increasing your current level of success with women, then remember to check out the 12-hour PICK UP ARTIST COURSE,and the amazing 7-day PUA COURSE
Where you can work with Kezia and the rest of the team!

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5 thoughts on “Know ‘yourself’

  1. sven

    Kezia, this is one of your best posts by far, so glad you left that terrible company you used to do talks for, this is great material

  2. Two Scoops

    My my. Well spoken. I believe this goes to the push-pull scenario. I’ve noticed over my life how sometimes you bend with, say, your boss or even you find very respectful. When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s no longer a challenge to keep things interesting when one of the parties starts to comply with the other with respect to opinions, even though a debate may ensue. I think debate at times pumps buying temperature, if in the right state, and yet as you said, commands DHV. Every woman wants a man of higher value from the rest.

    Juicy post. This one made me break down and comment!

  3. Kristan Benson

    This is really great, great post Kez! This is something that Im now now realizing.. all too many times Ive met these girls that do what-ever, and Ive tried to be what they are or have the interests that they have.. Its doesnt work, as the old saying goes “be yourself” its true! but bloody hard to realize at the same time, you may loose a few friends in standing by what you believe in but if they are REALLY your friends they will accept you for who you are!

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