Kezia Noble is the world’s leading female DATING COACH and attraction expert for men.
She is the most well known Dating Coach in London, New York and Los Angeles this is thanks to her flawless reputation for getting men REAL results and her best selling book ‘The Noble Art Of Seducing Women’
10th anniversary of The GAME ( well.. almost)
We are approaching a decade since the ‘pick up artist bible’ better known as best selling book: The Game was released.
My TWO questions are :
What’s changed since then?
Have the changes been for the better?
The Game, written by best selling author Neil Strauss, gave a detailed account of the authors experience when he delved into the world of the ‘pick up community’. The book, is well written and easy to read. Although it is interwoven with advice ( hence why it is considered the ‘bible’ of the seduction community) there are also large sections of refreshingly honest and laugh out loud accounts and extremely personal stories that Neil Strauss shares with his readers.
When I opened this book for the second time a few weeks ago, I began reading it through a surprisingly different lens than I had five years before.
Five years ago, I found myself dishing out very similar advice to what was contained in the book, in what can be best described as essentially a “BOYS ONLY” club, with a strict rule that bellowed “No girls allowed!”
There are many occasions where I remember turning up to ‘Lair meetings” to give a speech that was laden with advice, techniques, methods and most importantly HONEST insights into the female mind which I strongly felt were genuinely needed in order to increase the members of the ‘Pick Up Artists community’ levels of success with women.
By the way, for those of you who don’t know what a “lair meeting” is, it’s basically a group of guys from the ‘pick up community’ ( sometimes referred to as the ‘seduction community’ who have organised via internet forums and emails exchanges a weekly or monthly meet up group where attendees can share ideas and new techniques that may or may not get them results with women. These meetings usually took place in a fairly warn out pub, basement or in some cases what could be described as places that had the uninspiring surroundings of an abandoned crack den.
There would usually be a few ‘guest speakers’ ( invite only) who would share their latest discoveries and techniques, and after the ‘event’ the students would either go home and complain or praise the experience on an online forum, or they would embark on to the bars and nightclubs of LA, New York, London or wherever they happened to be, to practice out all their new found skills and techniques.
When I used to speak at these lair meetings, I was usually greeted with suspicion, but once they realised that my advice was not generic, nice and ineffective like they had expected from a female dating coach, they usually let their guard down and welcomed me in to the ‘Boys Only Clubs’ with open arms.
“No girls allowed…except Kezia!”
However, after a year or so of being an active speaker in the pick up community ,spending time with pick up artist and pick up gurus, and holding small workshops and bootcamps that helped many men who were very much part of the community, in getting better results with women, word of what I was doing spread fast, and eventually reached the attention of a very well known publishing company , who eventually approached me in 2009, and asked if I was willing to put my advice ,tips and experiences down on paper.
“Hmmmm…let me think about this…yeah why not?”
This is essentially what launched me into the mainstream, something that I believe was not embraced by the pick up community. You’re seen as a sell out when you start sharing advice with people outside of the community, and I can understand their point but only to a certain extent, Because I ultimately believe in sharing wisdom and alternatives to all who seek solutions to their unhappiness , and if that meant getting my voice and reputation out to the general public then so be it!
During the 18 months it took to write my book, I was able to take a step back and see from a distance what changes were taking place in the community. Lairs were being replaced with hotel conference rooms, advice that was shared on forums for free was being packaged and delivered in the form of DVDs and ebooks. Annual award events were being organised, with Oscar Academy style categories included, which gave lots of pick up artists the opportunity to wear a crown or hold up a certificate for the cameras and add to their credentials .
I also noticed more and more women getting involved in the community, which I thought personally was a positive step.
I always believed that the lack of female presence,advice and input in that community worked against them. These guys needed to be around women! Of course the female coaches ( and there were and are a lot of them) who dished out vague, generic, nice but essentially ineffective advice should be filtered out, and shown the door, but the same rules should apply to the male coaches or ‘gurus’ who failed to bring anything new to the table .
After the launch of my book, I turned down a lot of money to work with other Pick Up Artist Companies ( yes , those organisers of the lair meetings were now company directors) and I made the decision to focus my energy and time on creating a team of handpicked instructors both male and female to give their own valuable advice, techniques, skills, methods, systems and insights to any man who really wanted to become better with women. For me, it was never about the money, even though I have been accused of turning my back on the ‘pick up community’ to broaden my horizons, this accusation is built on flimsy evidence and nebular assumptions, because if it were the case why would I have turned down extremely large sums of money to work with them?
For me, my goal is to give any man who comes to me and my team, REAL results, REAL advice, and HONEST and DIRECT insights of what women really want, through skills that ALWAYS remain congruent with their own personality. I am not here to create pick up artists, I am here to give real solutions to their problems , and valuable advice that women will agree on.
Each bootcamp that I hold, has less and less men from the pick up community attending. A few years ago the majority of my bootcamps and 7-day programmes were filled with men who were familiar with all the big names in the pick up artist community such as Mystery, ( lead character of the The Game) but now, only a handful of them have even heard of this ‘subculture’.
But is it still a subculture ?
The literal translation of the word subcultural is : ‘a cultural group within a larger culture, often having beliefs or interests at variance with those of the larger culture.’
My conclusion to this is that the pick up community has grown up. It’s evolved in to the realms of ‘self help’ and ‘ self improvement’ which are for lack of a better expression more ‘user friendly’. They are more inviting, and like it or not, the community has become a lot more mainstream, thanks to The Game, media interest that the community has attracted and a general wider acceptance from both men and women who have no idea about it’s origins, or it’s early days of “Lair meet ups” .
To put it into perspective, my book The Noble Art Of Seducing Women has sold almost quarter of a million copies. My Youtube videos have attracted over 16 million views, and the recent documentary that was made about me for Esquire TV which was broadcasted to over 5 million viewers in the USA, resulted in a tidal wave of emails that were 90 percent positive, and a further 20 percent of those positive emails were form women!
In 10 years since the release of the book “The Game” so much has changed , and most of it I believe has changed for he better. It has given the green light to millions of men across the world to actually feel comfortable in seeking out ways that will give them the solutions to their sticking points with women. Gone are the days where men felt embarrassed or weird for wanting to taking a proactive approach to their dating lives, and gone are the days of the bickering and internal back stabbings between the different pick up artist companies.
The positive ‘self development’ aspect of the pick up community has superseded the shadow of negativity and bitterness and general creepiness which had lingered on for far too long.
I still keep in touch with some of the pick up artists I used to know, from years ago, and the ones I have chosen to remain in contact with are the ones who I have great respect for and who share my vision and principals in regards to helping men become better with women.
The few who continue to remain negative and bitter about the fact that I and others like me have been accepted by the mainstream public, well, my advice is to them , is maybe they need to re-read the Game, and realise that the central message within that book was to remember why you got involved in the game in the first place..”
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