The ALPHA MALE by wing girl Eleanor
I am stunned time and again in my personal life by the spinelessness of men, ‘The Alpha Male’ seems to me a rare species.
I was recently told a story by a friend that a relative of hers was trying to set her up on a blind date, she is an attractive and intelligent women that you would think, any man should jump at the opportunity of taking her out. He requested her friendship on Facebook and then informed the middle person (her relative) that he didn’t feel comfortable with blind dates. My immediate reaction was ‘what a gutless wonder’ ‘pathetic’ and more over very unattractive, no spontaneity or ability to take a risk and put himself out there.
Sadly however this is so common and increasingly disappointing, the reality is the number of strong independent women is growing and the number of strong independent men seems to be dropping. Just because women are strong it doesn’t mean they want the roles reversed, we still need strong men and crave the feeling of safety with a man.
This is where I come to ‘The Alpha Male’, this is not a man that is controlling and over bearing, it is a man that is self-assured physically and emotionally within himself, not having to dominate externally as his confidence seeps through automatically. He is in control of himself therefore in control of his surroundings, he is not easily flustered and is willing to take risks and if they do not bare fruit he will quickly bounce back and move on to the next challenge. Obviously this can be translated into interactions with females but equally it could be situations at work, leisure activities and with family and friends.
An important part of the ‘Alpha Male’ package is also ambition, I don’t necessarily mean in the work sense although it could be but in the whole of his life. Something that is very attractive to women is passion, the ‘Alpha Male’ is not a plodder through life, he realises that life is a gift and that he has so many opportunities to experience a great deal. He may have an interesting hobby or two, anything from cultivating fruit and vegetables to sky diving in as many tropical locations as possible. Whatever it may be it gives him an extra dimension of interest. When you are comfortable within yourself you relax, that is tangible and will be picked up on.
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January 7th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Hey all,
Thanks for this post Eleanor – this and many other posts on this site (eg Being interesting PART 1 by Mark J, Don’t be oversensitive by Eleanor, Attractive Body Language by Hadassa) reinforces the Alpha man qualities that some women find attractive – and isn’t so common nowadays. Interestingly, a recent article entitled ‘The End of Man’ supports with facts exactly what Eleanor states above (eg there are now more female uni grads in the US than men).
Question, when women are approached by naturals and alpha men – does their mindset, values, expectations, standards also increase so that the next man that approaches must be equal to or better than the previous. For example: If Beckster (Legend) was to approach and try to seduce a woman then Ali did the same a little later, then Gambler, etc… would each guy’s game have to reach a higher level in order to create enough impact and thus attraction? The same goes for when Kezia and the other female PUA trainers are approached and go out on dates (and are disappointed again as per this and other articles) – does each PUA have to create a better impact than the previous one in order to succeed?
Eg. I might be at a social gathering (and approach sets, build comfort, throw in some banter lines/tease/get them laughing, break rapport, asking deep-connection questions all with alpha body language + enjoying chillaxing) and be seen as someone with social value BUT still not have generated interest (even when every other guy is avoiding conversation with the women, standing against the walls/drink by their chest). Any ideas guys on how to improve the situation
Thanks for the informative and insightful posts.
All the best
March 21st, 2012 at 4:50 am
Thanks Eleanor. This helps clarify the RIGHT way to be Alpha, which does not mean being an arrogant jerk.
April 12th, 2012 at 2:25 am
Perhaps upon seeing her fb photo,he was no longer interested in dating your attractive and intelligent friend. What does education have anything to do with this? It’s a no win situation for men in some female’s mentalities and this female propaganda has become very tiresome. Maybe it’s not the faults of the men your pursuing, maybe there is another reason why you’re all alone.
May 24th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
She should have spent more time on attraction